I’m in my early 20’s.
I only know of two women my age that I went to school with that have children. Everyone else my age is focusing on school or their career.
There is only one other “Step Mom” that I went to high school with.(both of us are not married to our significant others).
I needed Step Mom support.
I joined a Facebook group that was designed for Step Moms who stand for The Fathers Rights Movement. It’s one of my favourite groups because the administration makes sure that only step moms are added, as they don’t want any privacy problems with high conflict exes seeing what’s posted. The women in this group have so much knowledge and are so supportive.
What I found, was not support.
My first post was an introduction of myself and my situation. My introduction included my age, how long my boyfriend and I have been together (which wasn’t that long at the time), and my very high conflict situation. I asked for advice on whatever was going on at the time, and some general support.
I was bombarded with older step moms telling me to run and never look back. I was too young to be with a man with so much baggage. I was too young to have to deal with a high conflict ex. I was too young to be tied down by someone with a child.
Even from others.
It wasn’t just these step moms telling me this, either. It was family members, friends, acquaintances. Everyone was telling me I was “too young”.
I was too young to be tied down by a man who has a crazy ex.
I was too young to “play house” with someone else’s baby.
I was too young to be tied down by the financial situations of court and child support.
It pisses me off to no end that people make these comments to me. I know how old I am. I know that my boyfriend has a lot of “baggage”, I know it is difficult to co parent with someone who doesn’t want to acknowledge you exist, I know it’s hard to be a parent figure to a child that is not yours.
Then, I found some.
Eventually, I found that person that stood behind every decision I made. She is always in my corner, she is always a phone call away. I am so lucky to have connected with her. She is my best friend. Funny enough, after a year of being best friends, we find out that we are actually cousins.
It’s all about Resiliency.
I am determined to prove others wrong. I want to prove to her that I am committed and I want this. I want to prove to those older Step Moms that I am not going to run away. I want to prove to everyone else that this is not a ball and chain.
I may only be in my early 20’s, but I have always been an “old soul”, as my Mom says. I am a home body, I’m not into partying and being overly social. I matured early in age, and I was always wise beyond my years.
I love my boyfriend, and I love his son. That is a key factor everyone seems to ignore when telling me to run and never look back.