Lesson Learned.

March 16, 2018

I don’t know if I will end up posting this.  This is something I needed to write out to really process.  If this gets posted, it’s because I hope someone learns from my mistakes, and/or relates to what I have experienced.

This week, I lost a family member.

This family member holds many childhood memories, however I did not have a close relationship with this person.  They lived a 3 hour drive from where I live, in a small town that often had poor weather conditions.

I lost this person in a very sudden, unexpected and tragic way.  His house burned down.

Three years ago, his wife passed in her sleep.  Her celebration of life was an event that brought us all together to visit him.  After losing his wife, I made the decision to make more of an effort to see him on a regular basis, as life could be taken without notice.

Shortly after her death, he had fallen and broke his femur.  He was in ICU for a while due to his vital signs not being stable enough.  I visited him there and made sure that he was doing well and had some company.

That was the last time I saw him.

Since that event, I wanted to go visit at home many times, but I kept putting it off.  Whether it was because we were getting Little Boy that weekend, or I was working, or I had other plans.  Over and over I just pushed it back.

This week, I was planning on telling my Dad I wanted to go down and visit.  I had mentally planned about making him some casseroles for the freezer, do some of his laundry, clean his house for him, and so on.  I was mentally prepared to go down for the drive and spend the weekend at his place.

Then I got the news.

I was absolutely devastated.  It was so sudden and surreal.  I felt so guilty to not have seen him sooner.  I felt so guilty to not have just gone down weeks before.  We all drove down to the house to see what could be salvageable.  There was nothing left.  The whole house was gone.


He was a well off man.  He worked hard throughout his life, and used his money wisely.  He saved and didn’t spend money unless it was for something he needed.

Money doesn’t matter.

He had lots of money.  Could he take it with him when he went?  No.  Sure, it goes to his children to help them out.  But what was the point of being so incredibly frugal?  It didn’t save him.  He’s not currently reaping the benefits.

Money comes and goes.  It can disappear in a second.  It can come in floods in a second.

Don’t work your ass off just to be loaded.  Don’t work long hours and long days and sacrifice time with your family.  It’s time you can’t get back, not the money.

Don’t wait until tomorrow.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to tell them for the first time “I love you”.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to visit someone.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to tell someone how you really feel.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to go on a trip.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to do the things you want to do.

Don’t wait until tomorrow to start painting, or sewing, or knitting, or trying something you want to do.

Get those bucket list items crossed off your list.  Tomorrow may not come.

Stop and smell the roses.

Tell people how you feel.

Make time for family.

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