Stuggles of a Step Mom

Things Are Just Not Fair.

January 3, 2018


Here it goes.  My first negative post.

Even though in my last post I went on about being positive.  And this whole post is about being positive.  It goes against everything I’ve been trying to do on this blog, but I just have to rant.  I know you fellow Step Mom’s will relate to me.  Maybe give me some tough love and tell me to suck it up.

I came across this post yesterday (source unknown), and I posted it to both my Instagram and Facebook page.  It really got me thinking.

 Things are just not fair.

I know we put ourselves in this situation, but I really didn’t expect some of the things I have come across.

Child support.

Okay, this was obviously something I expected.  What I didn’t expect was how much my boyfriend would be paying in support and day care costs.  It really is ridiculous, and he doesn’t make great, or even good money.  A large sum of his pay cheque goes to his ex, and after he pays his bills, there isn’t a whole lot left over.  It’s incredibly frustrating.



Why is it that a man who wants to see his child, who doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t participate in crime, only gets every other weekend?  His child is just as much his as it is the mothers, and yet he sees his child a small percentage of the time.  It makes me so upset to see such great, willing, fit fathers be denied more access and time with their children.

Baby Momma Drama

It’s real.  I really shouldn’t be complaining because my boyfriend and his ex are getting along great right now (it wasn’t always.  It was utter hell).  However, I know she hates me.  I haven’t done anything to warrant that.  I’ve just loved and cared for her son like he was my own.  I have this weird need for her to approve of me, or even give me a chance.  We have never met, and the only information she could have gathered about me is what is on my social media.

How much this has effected me.

And my life.  And my future.  My boyfriend and I currently live at our parents houses.  I’m a broke college student, and he’s a broke Dad who just finished going through court.  I have money saved to pay for my student loans after school, but my boyfriend is struggling to pay off old debt.  Because of his current bills, child support, section 7 expenses, paying for his sons needs while he’s here, and trying to catch up to his debt, there’s nothing left.  We can’t move out and get our own place until we have a steady, positive income.  We can’t move out, get married, go on a trip, or start our own family until we can start saving up.

I’m just having one of those moments where I’m just letting the negativity get to me.

  1. It’s hard! Things DO improve with time for most blended families, but the early years are THE WORST. My biggest advice would be to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! Screen shot every text, save every email, write a narrative outline to every in-person interaction. Whenever he’s prepared to petition for more time, the court will love seeing all of his documented attempts of wanting more time with his son. (Even better if you can get documented proof of BM trying to deny him time). Also, be so careful with social media. Block BM, seriously. It’s not worth the drama! She has no right to your social media, or your boyfriends! DISENGAGE and you will find a whole new level of peace. You’re a great, supportive girlfriend and stepmom-in-training! They are so lucky to have you.

    1. Things have been getting better – I just get myself in a slump every now and then. We use an app to communicate with BM, and it’s usable information in court. I hope we will get more time in the future, and I think we will next time we modify. She is blocked on alllllllll my social media, and she has me blocked on mine as well. I have her whole family and close friends that I know of blocked. Thank you for your kind words <3

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