“You can choose love or hate, I choose love” – Johnny Cash.
It’s so easy to focus on all the bad aspects of being a Step Parent. Baby Momma drama, step kids being disrespectful, court dates, lack of support and understanding from family and friends, stressed out significant other.
There’s an endless list of shit to be pissed off about.
Long before starting this blog, I have followed multiple social media pages dedicated to the life of a Step Mom. A lot of the content is hate based, and so bitter towards the other woman. Especially since starting this blog, I have looked more closely as to what other Step Moms post and what they’re saying. It’s awfully hard to find positive content.
I have found that a lot of Step Moms are bitter, and just plain angry. And that’s okay, we need to vent our anger to each other to move forward. Staying angry and always being bitter, is not okay.
There are a lot of things out of our control. How the court cases pan out, how much child support gets paid, how the children act, how Baby Momma is behaving lately. Those things can make us feel defeated, bitter, and annoyed.
There are a lot of things in our control. How we react to things, how we take care of ourselves, and how we approach our situations. Approaching things with positivity can help us feel impowered, relaxed and happy.
I have spent a lot of time, energy, and head space on how much I hated my boyfriends ex, how angry I was about how the case conference went, how pissed off I was about the amount of child support she gets when my boyfriend is drowning in court fees. All of those things suck, but wallowing in your hatred and anger will do nothing but make you a bitter person. I started to really hate myself, I was always in a bad mood, and everything wasn’t going right.
Things needed to change. So instead of clinging to anger and hate, I tried to focus my energy on the positive. I try to focus on the good things about her and her attempts at co-parenting. I try to focus on the good things that are going on with our little family, like having good quality time. I try and think of ways to improve our situation. I still have moments where I go back to being bitter and annoyed, but I try to stay away from that as much as possible.
When we focus on the good and positive, and try and move forward from that point, it will lead us to more good and positivity.
We have to remember one thing:
We are on the same team. We all want to raise a stable, healthy, happy child.
We are not enemies.
You have to work together as a team to create a stable, healthy, happy living space for that child. Set aside the differences to make the best out of this situation.