I stepped into my boyfriend’s life at a bad time; or maybe a good time. He had recently cut ties with her, and he knew he was never going to have the family he pictured when he found out he was going to be a Dad. I watched him grow from the “boy” he was when we met, to the amazing Father that he is today.
He has changed so much since I have met him. In really great ways. I’m so happy that I was able to watch him grow into someone more mature, and a great father.
He has matured.
When we started dating, he was an angry, and generally unhealthy person. He was holding onto hate, anger, resentment, and all of those negative things. He wallowed in his sadness and anger, and acted on those emotions.
For a long time he thought only about his situation and how it was affecting him, and not how it was affecting others or why it was happening. It took a while for me to get him to be empathetic and try to understand or figure out where the other person is coming from, and why they’re doing what they’re doing. He had to learn what the other persons privet logic was, even if it didn’t make sense to him. I’ve noticed recently that he thinks more critically, and he attempts (most of the time) to try and figure out why someone does what they do.
He has calmed down so much. He is less pessimistic, and goes more with the flow. He doesn’t let the bad things get to him like he did before. Watching him communicate with her, especially with out me, makes me so happy. Even in high tension times, he remains calm and neutral. He doesn’t get angry, and shares only facts.
He’s a better Dad.
I don’t want to say he was ever a bad father, because he was never bad. He loved holding his baby, feeding him, burping him, and even didn’t mind changing dirty diapers.
He just didn’t feel like a Dad. He lacked time with his son, and I think that was the biggest problem. Most first time parents become less sensitive to a fussy baby, or freak out less when their baby cries after their baby is more than a few months old. He felt like a babysitter more than a parent. Until a few months ago, he had never spent a night with his son (who is almost 2 now). He was unable to get the time needed to become a more “experienced” daddy.
For a long time, Little Boy preferred me over him. For the simple fact that I was a woman, and less stressed than him. Little Boy reached for me, and would only fall asleep for me. Then the dynamic changed when I started school. I was around less during the week because of homework, and they got more time together without me.
It was at the moment where Little Boy moved from wanting me to wanting his Dad where my boyfriend really blossomed as a father. He embraced the responsibility, and wanted to go the extra mile. He started feeling more like a father, and less like a visitor. As much as it sucks sometimes being rejected for cuddles because Dad is there, seeing my boyfriends face light up makes me so happy.
Now, Little Boy says “Daddy Daddy” constantly, always wants hugs and cuddles, and can only be soothed by Daddy. He has become a Daddy’s boy, and my boyfriend is really loving it.
Our relationship is better.
He’s more romantic towards me. It was like pulling teeth trying to get him to do something nice for me, but now he does it without being asked. He gets me flowers for no reason, my favourite chocolate bars, writes love notes in my phone. He has also shown me that romantic gestures aren’t always flowers and gifts. It’s also foot rubs, massages, “good morning beautiful” ‘s, and breakfast just the way I like it.
Love and romanticism isn’t always flowers and gifts. It’s letting you sleep in, giving you a kiss before work, telling you to drive safe, making sure your car is well maintained and safe.